Practical PR: The secret to meaningful and engaging communication

By Adam Harris
Adam Harris is communications coordinator, and Head of Communications and Storytelling for Arlington Heights SD 25.

 

I’m scared, a lot.

I walk around the world, full of fear. I’m fearful of making a mistake, looking or feeling stupid, being judged, making someone angry with me, feeling disappointment from others, being and living unhealthy – basically, I’m scared of letting go of control of any aspect of my life, so, I work extremely hard, every moment of every day, to keep that control.

The funny thing is, though, the desire to have complete control of my life is actually not achievable. It’s a farce. It’s a story I tell myself that helps me calm down and focus on the task at hand. And my current task is to write this article and shed some light on what creates engagement with an audience.

So, what is the key to engaging and effective communication?

The one word answer to that question is “vulnerability.”

Yes, vulnerability creates fear, doubt, nerves, and anxiety, but it also creates joy, connection, excitement, thrill, and relationship. Relationship --  the core of communication. A bad or distrustful relationship with an audience and engagement will decrease when communicating. A good or trustworthy relationship with an audience and engagement will increase.

When I sat down to write this article, about how vulnerability enhances trust, engagement, and eventually your communication practices, I didn’t know where to begin. So, I began with myself. I began with being vulnerable. I began with the only roadblock that could keep us, you (the reader) and me (the writer), from having a pure relationship the rest of this article: my fears.

Effective communication with an audience, no matter the size, starts with the proper mentality and not from particular strategies or actions. Should we Tweet it? What about Facebook, is that the best way to communicate? No, mailing is the best way. A great website is the most effective. How about a megaphone, is that the best way? All of those questions are white noise to me when anyone in my district walks into my office for advice.

My answer to my colleagues is always the following: “(Insert communication technique here) is the most engaging, as long as it comes from a vulnerable and authentic place.
 

What is vulnerability?

When was the last time you were vulnerable? I mean, truly and genuinely vulnerable and not with just surface level fears or worries.

To be vulnerable, by definition, means to be susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. Yikes! Knowing that, why would anyone want to volunteer his or her vulnerability? Our basic definition and belief in being vulnerable might get us hurt, physically or, even worse, emotionally.

Now, knowing the definition of vulnerability, answer the question again. When was the last time you were vulnerable? Think about who you were vulnerable with. I’m willing to bet it was not with a co-worker, your boss, school board members, a resident, a parent in the district, or even your own parents, siblings, or your very own kids. I bet the last time you were truly and authentically vulnerable was with your significant other, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, therapist, life coach, best friend or your pet.

We allow ourselves to become vulnerable with people (and/or animals) who cannot hurt us and who will not judge us.

The truth is, that these people (and/or animals) are the ones we trust the most. They are the most important relationships in our lives, the ones that teach us how to look at vulnerability as a gift rather than a fear. For example, if those whom you are vulnerable with are your most important relationships, wouldn’t it make sense, that becoming vulnerable not only opens you up to harm and pain, but it also opens you up to joy, connection, and relationship?

Those people feel special, and, thus, return to you a gift of their own vulnerability. Back and forth it goes until the relationship is as strong as it needs to be. It is full of trust. It is full of connection.

 

Applying this ‘millennial’ junk to your jbs

I so appreciate this opportunity to climb on my vulnerability soapbox and shout my beliefs. My time is almost up so let’s apply this directly to your jobs and your communities.

I encourage you, moving forward, to express a vulnerability to a peer once a week for a month. That vulnerability can be something as simple as, “I’m scared of what the community is going to think of our five-year budget and I’m scared to discuss it.”

That little share, that little bit of vulnerability, is contagious. Who knows, it might feel amazing! You might feel so free after, that you branch it out to sharing vulnerabilities with the union president or your superintendent or, even, a difficult and aggressive resident/parent within your district. You give up a little control, but you establish a relationship that leads to trust, connection, and ultimately solutions.

The funny thing about vulnerability is, it’s contagious. It spreads, like a smile or a compliment or a good deed. The more you voice your vulnerabilities, the more you empower yourself in any situation, and the more power and control you have.

It’s working right now. I’m noticing I’m feeling less scared, thus, I need less control, 877 words later, than I did at the beginning.